Im sort of tired I know why, I didnt sleep a wink last night. Maybe 2 hours. I'm finally not sick, i feel like I have been sick for two months straight. I couldnt even talk at christmas...im so glad i am feeling better, now if I could only sleep , that would be wonderful. I am getting anxious about planning our vacation. It is going to cost about as much as I was expecting it too. But now we have to figure out if we are going to drive or fly....after looking at rental cars it seems like that is the MUCH cheaper way to go, but that would mean 11 hours or more with a four year old in the car, that s a long time....even with nap times in consideration...but it would save some serious money.....ugh .....stupid money. traveling should be free- its educational and good for us. Its not about luxury or being spoiled....its enjoying this world we are here to enjoy! Good thoughts...but....that s all they are.
Lyla turns one tomorrow. Ican't believe its been a year....wow...I can still feel the contractions. No Epideral....DUMB. She just came too fast though. Way to fast..45 mins....thats crazy. Riley took 12 hours, more actually!! Crazy. Interesting - I didnt sleep at all that week either, the week she was born....that is strange....hmmm
I havent sent her a bday present. I have no idea what to get her...but since her bday party is not until next weekend, Istill have time to get something sent to her...What does a birtmother get her one year old?????? I want it to have meaning....but I want her to also be able to enjoy it or like it....I dont know, but I need to figure it out!
I watched this show on Netflix last night, "The Secret Lives of the American Teenager"....its about a fifteen year old who gets pregnant....I love these shows....maybe because I can relate? I didn't get pregnant young, but I have dealt with two unplanned pregnancies... it makes me want to help girls who find themselves in that situation. I was thinking last night, when watching the show, about how much it changes the girls life ....people just look at her and can see that she is pregnant, meanwhile the guy....he can act like nothing has happened, like nothing is going on. I often wonder how guys feel in these situations? Its easy to assume that they dont give a shit. He got to sleep with her. Who cares about the consequences. But , maybe I am naive, I would think the guy would have to care at least to some degree. Maybe not.How do birtfathers feel after their child has been given away? I think that men who have NO intention of caring for the child or of being suppportive should just say so and let the mom make the decision taht isbest for them both.
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